Tried, Tested & Triumphant: Khashayar Law Group Secures Position as One of Southern California’s Top... 7 Ways to Make Billing More Effective: Lawyers may practice in different areas of the law and serve a wide range of clients, but... Protecting Your Firm from Ransomware: Ransomware attacks are affecting every type of business in America, and law firms are no... 5 Things to Ask Before You Say Yes To a Speaking Gig: Most professionals have a complicated relationship with public speaking—particularly if... 3 Biggest Leadership Mistakes People Make Today: One of the best leadership qualities that a manager can have is the ability to build up... California Case Summaries Civil™.: Organized Succinct Summaries of Some New CaliforniaCivil Cases - CALIFORNIA SUPREME COURT... Convert Unhappy Clients into Fans: Clients can become upset with us for many reasons, some of which are within our control,... Community News – August 2017: A San Francisco federal judge has appointed CaseyGerry’s managing partner David S.... DLTS Law. From the Ashes of the Recession.: D’Egidio Licari Townsend & Shah, APC’s unusual beginningsspark evolution of... How to Create an Email Law Alert. Powerful Marketing Tool Replaces Printed Newsletters.: Thanks to email, you can now write and distribute a weekly Law Alert without buying a...
Cole Casey - small banner

Put Your Hurt Aside and Pick Your Words Carefully

In my attorney coaching sessions, clients come to me asking how they should respond to a colleague who was caught criticizing them. It’s stunning and hurtful, to say the least—but a situation like that should not be swept under the rug. There are feelings involved. And trust.

The first thing I tell clients in this situation is: Put your hurt aside. Next, I recommend they examine the real reason they want to confront the co-worker who was talking about them. What is the ultimate goal? Is it to...

• Get more information about what the co-worker said?
• Tell the co-worker to stop chatting and criticizing?
• Explain your side of the story?

You don’t want to over-react, yet you also don’t want to miss an opportunity to glean information about yourself—albeit difficult. Develop a clear strategy of what you want to accomplish, then set out to have the conversation in person. E-mail is not the venue for this situation as words and tone can easily be misconstrued.

Here was some words and phrases you can use without sounding overly defensive.

“I overheard you and Beth discussing my contribution to the meeting. I want to explain why I took that approach so you are clear about my motivations.”

“I understand that you have some reservations about my contribution to the meeting. Can we meet for lunch to discuss this? I’d like to make sure you are clear about my direction.”

Since you and I work together every day, let’s discuss my work style so you have a better sense of what to expect from me and why.”

Notice the absence of confrontation. Steer clear of strong language that may create an even more adversarial relationship. Ideally, you want to give the other person an opportunity to discuss the issue with you and clear up any misconceptions.

Martha Newman

Martha M. Newman is a professional attorney coach who guides lawyers through business development, career advancement, and transitions. She is also the author of Top Lawyer Coach, a dynamic website devoted to lawyer marketing, networking, and professional practices.

More Posts

Digg This
Reddit This
Stumble Now!
Buzz This
Vote on DZone
Share on Facebook
Bookmark this on Delicious
Kick It on DotNetKicks.com
Shout it
Share on LinkedIn
Bookmark this on Technorati
Post on Twitter
Google Buzz (aka. Google Reader)
www.pdf24.org    Send article as PDF   

Filed Under: Featured StoriesPersonal Development

About the Author: Martha M. Newman is a professional attorney coach who guides lawyers through business development, career advancement, and transitions. She is also the author of Top Lawyer Coach, a dynamic website devoted to lawyer marketing, networking, and professional practices.

RSSComments (0)

Trackback URL

Leave a Reply

  • Polls
    Sorry, there are no polls available at the moment.